Gut Buster

Do you consider yourself to be the “Go big or go home type”? My friends and I think that overall we fit this definition. I think of college as a time when we can re-invent ourselves, test limits, and learn new things. A rite of passage for college students in Philadelphia, the Philly Challenge allows you to pick the time this event takes place and the people who you will attend this challenge with. Go before a night out or after that big midterm that had taken over your social nightlife for the past week and a half. Just go once though, otherwise you are truly aiding in America’s obesity problem.

You can pick either daytime or nighttime for this adventure. Knowing my readers I would advise for you, like I did, to complete this gut busting challenge at night. By choosing the night option you and your friends will be ready to go out and let loose. For me this event occurred on a balmy fall night around 9 pm. A group of Drexel Dragons boarded the Market Frankford Line towards 2nd Street; from Drexel’s campus it was the Market Frankford East line, for a total of two dollars per person. Embarking on this adventure from University of Penn will also require you to take the Market Frankford line, whereas a Temple Owl will need to first take the Broad Street subway line to the Market Frankford line. The subway is an acquired taste. The urine and trash begin to waft itself into your nasal passage as you walk. While walking through the platforms some maneuvering is usually required. Most likely you will find yourself moving around a puddle of something or another, avoiding trash from someone’s mid-day snack, and/or dodging the occasional bum. But after a few rides you, like me, will appreciate SEPTA. Without a car on campus or parents chauffeuring me around “Daddy SEPTA” has provided a reliable way for me to get my food, clothing, and adventuring accomplished without much hassle or cost. I guess the faint at heart could always spring for a cab. But unfortunately, money does not grow on the trees outside of my dorm thus those pricey cab rides need to be avoided if possible.

I feel like I should be honest with my always-intrigued college readers; SEPTA provides no amazingly direct and convenient route towards South Street. With a walk that took about thirty minutes, including our detours and shenanigans, one could say that we had both a great journey and destination. We got off at 2nd street, yet again I am going to be honest; we were all perturbed on the correct direction of South Street based on where we were positioned after resurfacing from the subway. Seeing only historical buildings, we knew this was not what we wanted. That night we learned an important lesson. Contrary to popular belief finding a cop in the city of Philadelphia is not as easy as one would think. After walking five blocks in what we soon found out was the wrong direction we decided that a horse and buggy tour guide’s directions would need to suffice for the nonexistent cop’s guidance within the city. And to think, people wonder why Philadelphia’s crime count is so large!

Once the horseman led us into the correct direction, of course this direction was given in conjunction with about thirty advertisements for his personal buggy service that included a tour of the city and velvet blanket for the ride, we all heard the rumble within our stomachs. This rumble was audible from several feet away and seemed to multiply with each step towards South Street.

Do the words oozing grease, sugar, food dye, and large enough portions to make the healthiest heart clog-sound like an adventure to you? In reality Philly cheese steaks, pizza, and Italian Water Ice really is an adventure. Moseying down South Street you will first need to locate Lorenzo Pizza. This pizza is unlike anything you have ever seen before. After standing in a fast paced line to get your piping hot plain pizza, the standard paper plate will not suffice for this greasy deliciousness. Instead you must use two plates to hold this edible delight, and the tip will still hang over the edge. But DO NOT eat your pizza! Instead bring it with you to Jim’s Steaks. The smell of melting cheese, oregano, and just all around Italian-ness will penetrate your nose and make your mouth water. I felt my body temperate rising. At first I thought maybe this sudden rise in temperate was due to my increasing excitement for the challenge before me. But, I soon realized this warmth was actually my hand burning due to the sizzling pizza.

Traveling down South Street toward Jim’s Steaks can be an interesting time. With stores such as “Condom Kingdom” and exotic dancing supply stores, window-shopping provided a delightful laugh for my friends and me. When approaching Jim’s Steaks the first thing you see will not be the store’s sign or the store itself. Instead you will first lay eyes on the line that, most likely, surrounds the block and encroaches upon the next street.

After waiting in line for approximately ten to fifteen minutes the pressure was on. I opted for the “cheese wit” while others got “provolone wit’ out”. Knowing the lingo to ordering becomes crucial. This is where the natives and tourists are clearly defined. The woman in front of us during our time at Jim’s Steaks had fallen victim to mis-ordering. The punishment for this was being sent to the end of the line. Once our gaggle of Drexel freshman reached the front of the line the workers automatically knew that the Philly Challenge was underway. I have a feeling that the large slices of pizza within each of our hands also gave them a tip to what we had truly come to South Street and more specifically Jim’s Steaks for. While in line, everyone including the old ladies out with their group of bingo buddies of fifteen years and the bikers from suburbia, all questioned our motives. Upon hearing our story they had all laughed and wished us luck in completing our task.

After grabbing my “cheese wit” I climbed the stairs to the seating above, telling myself on the way that the total amount of walking I had accomplished up until that point that night would cancel out all of the, excuse my language, “shit” I was about to eat. The tables were covered with crumbs and the atmosphere was extremely rowdy. Everyone knew that it was more than worth it. And so step one of the Philly Challenge began. Wrapping our previously bought pizza around the cheese steak creating a sandwich big enough for Goliath to snack on. The sandwich dripped everywhere leaving a trail of yellow grease stains on the paper plate, which at one time was not big enough to hold the first part of this adventure.
After gorging ourselves in this Philly feast step two of our edible adventure was just two blocks north on South Street. Rita’s water ice is one of Philadelphia’s most famous desserts. After grabbing the tongue staining red, green, or pink frozen wonder we all started our long walk back towards the subway.

Subways, walking, intriguing stores, food, friends, and Philadelphia were all key parts to this event. Without any of these parts the event wouldn’t have been so grand. This late night adventure will provide enough Facebook and MySpace profile pictures to last you till the end of the month, thus allowing you to take down the goofy one of you and your best friend trashed after last week’s frat part. Overall I will give this adventure and challenge of mine that I have completed four and a half stars out of five.